Saturday, August 14, 2010


Highlight of the trip was hanging out and bonding big time with my nephew, Anders. He pooped on my neck, and I love him even more for it.



The absolute finest toothpaste, my darling. Mmm yes, Buffy and I only use the most decadent of oral hygiene products. Mmm, yes.


Holy shit am I ever about to take a demanding bike ride after taking this pic of the borrowed wheels. The roads are nothing but up and down, up and down, up and down, lonnng winding currrve, up and down, up and down. I think it took me three hours to go ten miles.

After huffin' and puffin' my ass up and over Fort Fartlek, I stopped and turned around in a fit of jealousy when I spotted this sweet mini ramp. It's the local school's mini ramp. The local, friggin', school's.

Øl, Øl, Øl (del tre)

Okay now, here we get to some of the best bears of the trip. Aass Bock is my bag. This is the staple beer I prefer out here, which is odd because almost all the other Aass beers taste like a wet belt. It's also has my favorite label. I hope to spot a goat drinking out of a barrel of beer someday.

The Ø beers. This is some of the best beer Norway has to offer. Perfect anytime, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is the Norge brand that has the most presense over here in the States.

Får Bøyd Manet

Til Stranden

Hey, what ya know, it's one of my cousins. We're hopping into the boat to go check out the beach scene.

Here's the beach scene. It's basically a group of huge rocks. Please disregard the jeanie weanie in the foreground.


Baby bottoms <3<3<3.

Sikkerhet Byen

Øl, Øl, Øl (del to)

Norsk Dobbelt Ned

Hval & Fisk

This is the dead aquatics scene at the local fishmonger's where, surprise, one of my cousins works. They sell these incredible fish cakes there, as well as whale, which you can see at the bottom of the third pic.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Techie Diffs

The Norwegian internet had given me some troubles: it took way too long to upload pics because the signal kept coming in and out. Now that I'm back, I can upload the pics and get a move on.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Norsk Trevirke

Get in, Pop.

Let's go!

The family land.

Wooden boats need to pee, too.

A kid with a boat...
...and three blondes in tow.
Play on, playa.

Hei Dritfugl

I never would be able to operate a clothes dryer or navigate the transportation system if it wasn't for Google Translate. It's just so darn useful. I'm currently applying it towards translating box-trucker lingo into Norwegian. Cabbies won't know what hit 'em.

Skitne Kjærlige

Norway is a land of peace and tolerance. As long as you are not hurting anyone, everyone will let you love however you want to love. With such an open mindset, anything is possible.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Øl, Øl, Øl (del en)

Time to get down to business. Beer in Norway is either hit or miss. If its bought in a supermarket or at a bar, it's most certainly a miss. If you get a beer at a regulated liquor store, then it's almost always a hit. It's also double the price. Such a sacrifice is mandatory in the ongoing mastery of sensual pleasure through inebriation.

Here we have some summer styled beer. It's light, it's refreshing, but doesn't taste like much of anything. It's basically Coors Light, with isn't a bad thing. It's not exactly a good thing either. B-

Hrrm, Aass Fatøl, eh? Let's give this a taste... THRWPPPP!! Gag! Man, did they ever capture the essence of Fat Aass. Ugh, that was one of the worst beers I ever came across. Thwrp, thwrp. Gross. D-

Velkommen Tilbake

Now this is more like it. Trees, trees, trees. Green, green, green. Air so fresh, you want to wash its mouth out with soap.

This is the view from my cousin's porch in Oslo. Well, its more the suburbs of Oslo, but unless you are in the heart of the city, it's all one big suburb compared to New Yawk. Not a loudmouthed goon or pitbull in sight. The flat overlooks a large, clean lake and campground where you can hear little kids singing in unison and splashing around in the water.

Norway at the stroke of midnight. It's a challenge to get accustomed to both the time zone change and the fact that it doesn't really get dark until 1am. I always spend the first day sleeping in tweaky fits like a dreaming dog, and become curmudgeonly cantankerous after awaking. Then I have a beer and get my act together.